What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
