i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
