Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
