You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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