Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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