Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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