Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
