I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
