i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
