Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
