Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
