I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
