im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
