I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
