How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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