I accidentally had phone sex last night
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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