I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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