i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
