Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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