I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
