How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think my fart just growled at me.
Farmville is her only friend.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have fence marks all over my body
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
