Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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