If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Holy shit dude........stairs
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