the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
