His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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