I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The adults are the big ones right?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
