dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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