I just made out with a guy for $7.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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