I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
