I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
