i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
True college students do jello shots in the library
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