someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
