Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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