Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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