Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
