It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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