He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my being single is dangerous.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
