butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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