yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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