piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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