Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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