ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
