I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
