All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
