Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
