what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
