Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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