Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
