Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
