Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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