the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
